Taken from the LDS Preparedness Handbook
BOOK OF GOMER PARABLE
These are the generations of Gomer, son of Homer, son of Omer. And in the days of Gomer, Noah,
the Prophet, went unto the people saying, "Prepare ye for the flood which is to come, yea, build yourselves
a boat, that ye may not perish."
Now, Gomer was a member of the Church, and taught Sunday School and played, yea, even on the
ward softball team. And Gomer's wife said unto him, "Come, let us build unto ourselves a boat as the
Prophet commandeth, that we may not perish in the flood." But behold, Gomer saith unto his wife,
"Worry not, dear wife, for if the flood comes the government will provide boats for us."
And Gomer did not build a boat. And Gomer's wife went unto Noah and she returned saying, "Behold,
Honey, the Prophet saith unto us, "Build a boat, that we may preserve ourselves, for the government
pays men not to grow trees, wherefore the government hath not the lumber to build for you a boat."
THIS MANUAL MAY BE SOLD AT COST ONLY - AND IS NOT TO BE OFFERED FOR RESALE. 7
And Gomer answered saying, "Fear not, oh wife, for am I not the star pitcher on the ward softball team?
Wherefore, the Church will provide for us a boat, that we will perish not."
And Gomer's wife went again unto Noah, and she returned unto Gomer, saying, "Behold, mine husband,
the Prophet saith that the Church hath not enough lumber to build a boat for everyone, wherefore,
mine husband, build for us a boat that we might not perish in the flood." And Gomer answered her
saying, "Behold, if we build a boat, when the flood cometh, will not our neighbors overpower us and take
from us our boat; wherefore, what doth it profit a man to build a boat?"
And Gomer's wife went again unto Noah and she returned, saying, "Behold, the Prophet saith, build
unto yourselves a boat, and have faith, for if ye do the Lord's bidding, He will preserve your boat for
you." But Gomer answered his wife, saying, "Behold, with this inflation, the price of wood has gone sky
high, and if we wait awhile, perhaps the price will go down again. And then I will build for us a boat."
And Gomer's wife went again unto Noah, and she returned saying, "Thus saith the Prophet, build for
yourselves a boat RIGHT NOW, for the price of wood will not go down, but will continue to go up.
Wherefore, oh husband, build for ourselves a boat, that we may perish not." But Gomer answered his
wife, saying, "Behold, for 120 years Noah hath told us to build a boat, to preserve us from the flood,
but hath the flood come? Yea, I say, nay. Wherefore, perhaps the flood will not come for another
hundred and twenty years.
And Gomer's wife went again unto Noah and returned saying, "The Prophet saith, he knows it has
been 120 years, but nevertheless, the flood will come, wherefore, build unto yourselves a boat."
And Gomer answered her saying, "Wherewith shall we get the money to build ourselves a boat, for are
we not now making monthly payments on our snazzy new four horsepower chariot? Wherefore, when our
payments end, perhaps we shall build ourselves a boat."
And Gomer's wife went again unto Noah and returned saying, "Behold, the Prophet saith that we
should cut down on our recreation, and our vacations, and even give each other lumber for Christmas,
that we might thereby get enough lumber to build a boat."
But Gomer saith unto her, "What a drag! Are we to cease enjoying life, just because we must build a
boat?"
Wherefore, Gomer built not a boat. But behold, one afternoon Gomer heard thunder in the sky, and he
feared exceedingly and he ran, yea, even to the lumber yard to buy lumber. But behold, the lumber store
was crowded with great multitudes, all seeking to buy lumber, and there was not enough lumber to be
found for the multitudes.
And on the same day were all the fountains of the deep opened, and the windows of heaven were
broken up, and the floods came -- and behold, Gomer had no boat. And as the water rose above
Gomer's waist, his wife saith unto him, "Behold, Honey, I told thee so!"
--- Author Unknown
That was fun, wasn't it?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Experiences from Hurricane Ike
Here are a few things that were shared on one of the boat building forums. I would imagine that a lot of these were experienced by M&J during the aftermath of Katrina.
"This is from a High School friend from Houston and way off topic.
I could lie and say She lives on a boat in a marina under a pine
tree. Could be applied to cruising.
Things we learned during our Hurricane Ike . . .
A new opening phrase when seeing someone: 'Got lights yet?'
1. Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work
without electricity.
3. My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the
people in line who helped me push it).
4. Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller
in their hand.
5. Cats are even more irritating without power.
6. He who has the biggest generator wins.
7. Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish
they weren't around you.
8. A new method of non-lethal torture-showers without hot water.
9. There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
10. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
11. A 7-lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Cokes to a drinkable
temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-lb.turkey frozen for 8
more hours.
12. There are a lot of trees around here.
13. Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously
wrong.
14. Siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
generators.
16. People will get into a line that has already formed without
having any idea what the line is for.
17. When required, a Lincoln Continental will float, doesn't steer
well but floats just the same.
18. Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
19. Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as
the battery remains charged.
20. 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than
you, and they are quick to point that out!
21. Dirty clothes hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
22. If I owned a store & sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and
generators.. . I'd be rich.
23. Price of a can of soup rises 200% in a storm.
24. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's
fishing hole.
25. Tree service companies are under appreciated.
26. I learned what happens when you make fun of another states'
lackout.
27. MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher electric bill ?????
28. Drywall is a compound word, take away the 'dry' part and it's
worthless.
29. I can walk a lot farther than I thought -- & from Alvin, TX
30. My dad was right, relatives & shrimp, in a freezer without
electricity, both stink after 3 days.
TWO-YEAR-OLD CANNED BEETS TASTE BETTER THAN YOU THINK
MANICURES ARE A SIGN OF CIVILIZATION
IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO WEAR UNDERWEAR, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO WASH
THEM
WHAT LOOKS ACCEPTABLE BY CANDLELIGHT IN YOUR BATHROOM WILL SCARE YOU
WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AT THE OFFICE
COFFEE IS POSSIBLE WITHOUT STARBUCKS
RATHER THAN CAMPFIRES, YOU FIND FAMILIES HUDDLED ABOUT TINY BATTERY-
OPERATED TELEVISIONS TO WATCH ANYTHING
PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE MEAL FOR BREAKFAST,
LUNCH AND DINNER IN THE SAME DAY
DON'T SHUN THOSE WHO USE TYLENOL PM OR ADVIL PM TO GET THROUGH 11-
HOUR NIGHTS
THAT NEIGHBOR WHO KNOWS HOW TO USE A CHAINSAW IS YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND
IT SEEMS SPOOKY THAT THE ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH STILL WORKS
ICE IS A FORM OF CURRENCY
IT'S OK TO LET THE KIDS KEEP THEIR STICK FORT UNTIL THE DEBRIS-PICKUP
CREWS START ROLLING IN
A THREE-HOUR LINE FOR GASOLINE IS AN EXPLOSION WAITING TO HAPPEN
COMING HOME FROM WORK WITH A PIZZA AND A CHARGED-UP LAPTOP SO THE
KIDS CAN WATCH A DVD MAKES YOU A HERO
YOU RUN OUT OF THINGS TO BARBECUE AFTER DAY 2
ROOF-DAMAGE STORIES ARE PASSÉ'
SPAGHETTI-O' S AND CANNED TUNA DO NOT MIX WELL
HAIR CAN DRY WITHOUT A BLOW-DRYER, BUT IT MAY NOT LOOK THE WAY YOU
HAD PLANNED
THE STORM TREASURES YOUR KIDS ARE FINDING REALLY BELONG TO YOUR
NEIGHBORS
IF YOU HEAR A CHAINSAW AFTER DARK, NEXT LISTEN FOR THE AMBULANCE SIREN
BASEBALL CAPS GO WITH ANY POST-HURRICANE ENSEMBLE
GRAPES TASTE BETTER IN THE DARK
YOU CAN NOT TRAIN YOURSELF NOT TO FLIP ON LIGHT SWITCHES WHEN
ENTERING A ROOM
LUKEWARM IS THE NEW COLD
YOU HAVE NEIGHBORS
THE FREEZER SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEANED OUT REGULARLY
DITTO THE FRIDGE
GARAGE DOORS ARE NOT MAGIC
IT IS EASIER TO IGNORE A DIRTY FLOOR WHEN YOU CANNOT SEE IT
HEARING A NEIGHBORS GENERATOR IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOT NIGHT MAKES YOU
WANT TO COMMIT MURDER, UNLESS HE HAS GIVEN YOU AN EXTENSION CORD TO
RUN YOUR REFRIGERATOR (Amen Thank you Mr. Gutierrez).
YOU MAY HAVE RAKED UP A MILLION PINE CONES BUT THERE ARE STILL PLENTY
MORE WHERE THEY CAME FROM AND YOU ARE BOUND TO STEP ON ONE IF ONE
GOES OUT BAREFOOT
PLAYING BOARD GAMES BY CANDLELIGHT QUICKLY BECOMES A NEIGHBORHOOD
PARTY
OFF STILL HASN'T MADE A MOSQUITO REPELLENT THAT WILL DETER TEXAS
MOSQUITOES"
"This is from a High School friend from Houston and way off topic.
I could lie and say She lives on a boat in a marina under a pine
tree. Could be applied to cruising.
Things we learned during our Hurricane Ike . . .
A new opening phrase when seeing someone: 'Got lights yet?'
1. Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work
without electricity.
3. My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the
people in line who helped me push it).
4. Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller
in their hand.
5. Cats are even more irritating without power.
6. He who has the biggest generator wins.
7. Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish
they weren't around you.
8. A new method of non-lethal torture-showers without hot water.
9. There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
10. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
11. A 7-lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Cokes to a drinkable
temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-lb.turkey frozen for 8
more hours.
12. There are a lot of trees around here.
13. Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously
wrong.
14. Siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
generators.
16. People will get into a line that has already formed without
having any idea what the line is for.
17. When required, a Lincoln Continental will float, doesn't steer
well but floats just the same.
18. Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
19. Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as
the battery remains charged.
20. 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than
you, and they are quick to point that out!
21. Dirty clothes hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
22. If I owned a store & sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and
generators.. . I'd be rich.
23. Price of a can of soup rises 200% in a storm.
24. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's
fishing hole.
25. Tree service companies are under appreciated.
26. I learned what happens when you make fun of another states'
lackout.
27. MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher electric bill ?????
28. Drywall is a compound word, take away the 'dry' part and it's
worthless.
29. I can walk a lot farther than I thought -- & from Alvin, TX
30. My dad was right, relatives & shrimp, in a freezer without
electricity, both stink after 3 days.
TWO-YEAR-OLD CANNED BEETS TASTE BETTER THAN YOU THINK
MANICURES ARE A SIGN OF CIVILIZATION
IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO WEAR UNDERWEAR, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO WASH
THEM
WHAT LOOKS ACCEPTABLE BY CANDLELIGHT IN YOUR BATHROOM WILL SCARE YOU
WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AT THE OFFICE
COFFEE IS POSSIBLE WITHOUT STARBUCKS
RATHER THAN CAMPFIRES, YOU FIND FAMILIES HUDDLED ABOUT TINY BATTERY-
OPERATED TELEVISIONS TO WATCH ANYTHING
PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE MEAL FOR BREAKFAST,
LUNCH AND DINNER IN THE SAME DAY
DON'T SHUN THOSE WHO USE TYLENOL PM OR ADVIL PM TO GET THROUGH 11-
HOUR NIGHTS
THAT NEIGHBOR WHO KNOWS HOW TO USE A CHAINSAW IS YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND
IT SEEMS SPOOKY THAT THE ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH STILL WORKS
ICE IS A FORM OF CURRENCY
IT'S OK TO LET THE KIDS KEEP THEIR STICK FORT UNTIL THE DEBRIS-PICKUP
CREWS START ROLLING IN
A THREE-HOUR LINE FOR GASOLINE IS AN EXPLOSION WAITING TO HAPPEN
COMING HOME FROM WORK WITH A PIZZA AND A CHARGED-UP LAPTOP SO THE
KIDS CAN WATCH A DVD MAKES YOU A HERO
YOU RUN OUT OF THINGS TO BARBECUE AFTER DAY 2
ROOF-DAMAGE STORIES ARE PASSÉ'
SPAGHETTI-O' S AND CANNED TUNA DO NOT MIX WELL
HAIR CAN DRY WITHOUT A BLOW-DRYER, BUT IT MAY NOT LOOK THE WAY YOU
HAD PLANNED
THE STORM TREASURES YOUR KIDS ARE FINDING REALLY BELONG TO YOUR
NEIGHBORS
IF YOU HEAR A CHAINSAW AFTER DARK, NEXT LISTEN FOR THE AMBULANCE SIREN
BASEBALL CAPS GO WITH ANY POST-HURRICANE ENSEMBLE
GRAPES TASTE BETTER IN THE DARK
YOU CAN NOT TRAIN YOURSELF NOT TO FLIP ON LIGHT SWITCHES WHEN
ENTERING A ROOM
LUKEWARM IS THE NEW COLD
YOU HAVE NEIGHBORS
THE FREEZER SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEANED OUT REGULARLY
DITTO THE FRIDGE
GARAGE DOORS ARE NOT MAGIC
IT IS EASIER TO IGNORE A DIRTY FLOOR WHEN YOU CANNOT SEE IT
HEARING A NEIGHBORS GENERATOR IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOT NIGHT MAKES YOU
WANT TO COMMIT MURDER, UNLESS HE HAS GIVEN YOU AN EXTENSION CORD TO
RUN YOUR REFRIGERATOR (Amen Thank you Mr. Gutierrez).
YOU MAY HAVE RAKED UP A MILLION PINE CONES BUT THERE ARE STILL PLENTY
MORE WHERE THEY CAME FROM AND YOU ARE BOUND TO STEP ON ONE IF ONE
GOES OUT BAREFOOT
PLAYING BOARD GAMES BY CANDLELIGHT QUICKLY BECOMES A NEIGHBORHOOD
PARTY
OFF STILL HASN'T MADE A MOSQUITO REPELLENT THAT WILL DETER TEXAS
MOSQUITOES"
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